I would kill him over again if the situation were the same. He knows that, I think. Maybe that’s why things are awkward between us.
*dies* YOU THINK?!
I was happy about the bakery, I was happy that everything was finally coming together, I was happy that he… that we… we were working together without any fighting. I kept looking at him and he was always looking at me, with this little smile on his face.
i love the way you wrote this whole thing in first person (which i live in fear of) and especially lines like this, where she's pretty much thinking out loud, and all the little mental pauses are there. perfect.
You want the truth? I’m not upset about the kiss. I’m upset that he stepped away.
and of course, last line is killer. i adore this, i've been waiting ages to see why exactly makoto is so pissed off! i mean, we know, but we don't, and this explains everything beautifully. squeeeee WRITE MORE!
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-03-18 10:35 am (UTC)*dies* YOU THINK?!
I was happy about the bakery, I was happy that everything was finally coming together, I was happy that he… that we… we were working together without any fighting. I kept looking at him and he was always looking at me, with this little smile on his face.
i love the way you wrote this whole thing in first person (which i live in fear of) and especially lines like this, where she's pretty much thinking out loud, and all the little mental pauses are there. perfect.
You want the truth? I’m not upset about the kiss. I’m upset that he stepped away.
and of course, last line is killer. i adore this, i've been waiting ages to see why exactly makoto is so pissed off! i mean, we know, but we don't, and this explains everything beautifully. squeeeee WRITE MORE!