One Last Favour

[sea_thoughts]

Whee, first entry for the December sm_monthly theme: the shitennou!

Title: One Last Favour
Author: Starsea
Theme: Running Away (Shitennou)
Genre: Angst
Version: Manga (Silver Millennium)
Rating: PG

You can tell the sun in his jealous sky
When we walked in fields of gold.

- Sting, “Fields of Gold”

It was like those games they’d played when they were younger, running through the fields and the golden grass, shrieking out each other’s names. The grass felt the same against his hands, feather soft. The hills surrounding the valley were the same. But he was not the same and they were certainly not the same. They had changed.

They were coming for him and they were not going to let him escape this time.

Endymion stumbled on the ridge of earth but his momentum kept him going. He’d already sent everyone else on to the moon but he’d stayed, he’d had to stay to make sure that Elysion was safely guarded, all the barriers raised, both visible and invisible. The power was locked away, they couldn’t touch it. He shut his eyes tight against the pain in his chest. How had it come to this?

“Are you giving up?”

The call was distant and yet it was as if Jadeite was standing at his shoulder, whispering in his ear. Endymion gritted his teeth, pushing himself harder, heading for the tower on the hill, the designated meeting point. He could hear them now, running behind him through the grass, the swish and crush of their footsteps. They were silent. Perhaps it hadn’t been Jadeite’s voice but who else would ask that question? He hit the beginning of the slope and dragged the air into his lungs, chancing a look over his shoulder.

There they were: Jadeite in blue, Nephrite in red, Zoisite in green.

No Kunzite.

Endymion’s heart dropped in alarm. Only three of them? Where was Kunzite? If they were here together, then Kunzite must be with them. He swept his gaze over the horizon, but there was no gleam of grey or white.

He heard Nephrite laugh, the clear sound corrupted with cynicism. “Looking for somebody?”

The others laughed as well, high and mocking. Endymion felt his whole body shudder. My brothers. When did this start? Why didn’t I see I was losing you? He wanted to scream at them, beg them to stop this joke, stop teasing him, but there was no stopping now. They had gone into the dark and there was no way to bring them back. He would have to leave them here. He would have to leave them alone, just as they’d left him alone.

Endymion turned and ran up the hill, his chest and eyes burning for different reasons. He saw the doorway yawn wide and stumbled inside, head down, blinded by the darkness. Then a figure stepped out in front of him, sword held out.

“You always were predictable.”

Endymion stopped and stood straight, waiting as his eyes adjusted to the light. There he was, the leader of his guard, the man who had once been his closest friend. Losing him was the worst thing of all, Endymion thought. The other three were bad enough but to know that Kunzite was lost to him as well, after everything… He wouldn’t accept that. “Come with me,” he begged, even though he knew it was pointless. “Please, Kunzite, come with me. You’ll be welcome up there. I don’t care what you’ve done, just come with me now.”

Kunzite watched him, his eyes in shadow, his face unreadable like the stone walls around them. Endymion wanted to punch him, make him say or do something, but he knew that if he made any movement, Kunzite would run him through without another thought. So Endymion clenched his fists and stayed still, grateful for the darkness that hid the emotion in his face.

“Even now, you are willing to forgive?” Kunzite said and there was wistfulness in his voice. “Even now, after everything that has happened?”

“Yes!” Endymion answered, his chest tight with hope. “I know the others won’t, but you… just having you with me would mean so much to me, Kunzite. We could fight together… with the ones we love.” He lowered his voice. “You could see her.”

Kunzite moved so quickly that Endymion only had time to gasp as the tip of the sword touched his stomach. “You know nothing!” Kunzite snarled, the sudden fury in his face making him unrecognisable. “You know nothing about us.”

Endymion swallowed. “That’s true… I didn’t know. I didn’t see and I’m sorry, Kunzite. But you can’t say she means nothing to you now. You wouldn’t react like that if you felt nothing for her.”

“It is rather late for you to interest yourself in my feelings, your Highness,” Kunzite said coldly.

Endymion’s heart sank again but he wasn’t going to give up after such emotion. “She’s waiting for you,” he repeated, watching Kunzite’s grip tighten, the hope turning his voice hoarse. “Come with me and you can see her, Kunzite. I know you still feel something for her, what you’ve just said proves it.”

Kunzite dropped the sword but shook his head. “What did I tell you before, Endymion?” His voice was tired but recognisable. “You can’t play favourites.”

Desperation clawed at Endymion’s stomach, cold and vicious. “Kunzite, you’re the only one left—!”

“It’s all of us or none of us,” Kunzite said, talking over him as if this were old times. “How many times have I told you that? You either take all of us or you take none of us. That applies just as much in this situation as any other.”

“No!” Endymion gripped the pommel of his own sword so that he didn’t scream the word. “I’m not leaving you here! I’m not leaving you behind—!”

“You’ve already left me behind, Endymion,” Kunzite interrupted, steady as ever. “You left me behind a long time ago and you never looked back. It’s too late for you to try and make amends.”

The words hit Endymion like a punch in the stomach and he sagged a little, too upset to speak. He could feel Kunzite watching him. He took a deep breath and looked up. The least he could do was meet Kunzite’s eyes. To his surprise, Kunzite had a compassionate expression on his face.

“Would you have me leave them alone? Would you have them betrayed twice?” he asked. “That is how they will see it. You know that.”

Endymion shook his head. “No… no… but…”

“This is the way it has to be,” Kunzite said. “There is no room for ‘but’, not anymore. I stay here, with the others.”

“But you’re not swallowed up yet,” Endymion said, stepping forwards. “You could still…”

“I am staying here. Just as you are going to the moon. Now, are you going to injure me or will I have to do it myself?”

Endymion stared at him. His brain moved sluggishly, refusing to absorb the words. “What?”

“They will come to see what happened soon,” Kunzite said, glancing at the doorway. “I must be injured in order to make your escape look convincing.” He paused, his expression becoming very sombre. “This is the last thing I will ever ask of you, Endymion,” he said quietly. “The next time we meet, we will be enemies. Will you grant me this one last favour?”

Endymion couldn’t speak. He unsheathed his sword. Kunzite turned to expose his side and Endymion made a long sweeping motion, gritting his teeth as Kunzite fell on one knee. He sheathed the sword once more and then looked at his former guard, his fingers itching to stop the blood that was now seeping through and turning the material of Kunzite’s tunic black.

“Go,” Kunzite said, teeth gritted. “They will have felt that, they will be here very soon. What are you waiting for? Go!”

Endymion ran to the bottom of the steps and then turned, his vision blurred. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Kunzite just looked at him. “Run,” he said and Endymion ran, up towards the sky and away from the darkness, choking on tears of regret.

Comments

[dark-branwen.livejournal.com]

I'd say something constructive, but you have DESTROYED MY SOUL (again) and I need time to recover.

[sea_thoughts]

^^;; Sorry?

Heh, just be grateful that I didn't go with the kiss on the forehead.

[dark-branwen.livejournal.com]

Okay, calmer now.

So this? Is fabulous. Oh, so very, very fabulous. Predictably, your characterization is spot on. The bit with Jadeite is what stands out to me. He really is the only one who would say that. Nephrite's probably having way too much fun with the chase to want Endymion to give up, and I think Zoisite's silence is pretty telling here as well. Taunting isn't his style.

Like I said, it's the stuff with Kunzite and Endymion that really breaks my heart. First of all, just knowing that Kunzite could have gone with him and didn't that just kills me. I find it interesting that he chose his loyalty to the other Shitennou over Endymion in the end. I'm wondering if that's evidence of how he's starting to be swallowed or if he was still fully in control of his faculties at that point. On the one hand, I agree that having them feel betrayed twice would have been devestating for them even in their state. However, he must have known that he's going to have to fight Endymion later, which seems to be horrible for either of them to deal with. Then again, he might be banking on the fact that he won't survive their next encounter. He doesn't know they'll be reborn.

And then the bit where Endymion's talking about Venus and Kunzite's violent reaction. It's so clear that she's really important to him. Their conversation there was really painful to read. And not just because of how horrible it is for them, but if Venus were to find out about this moment between them... I'm going to hope Endymion doesn't tell her. It would do her no good to know that he could have stayed on their side.

Yeah. This is pretty high up their in my list of Starsea favorites. Really, really wonderful job.

[sea_thoughts]

Glad you calmed down. ^^

Yes, Nephrite wouldn't waste his breath on taunting Endymion. I see Nephrite as someone who would be into outdoors pursuits: running, fishing, hunting. He would enjoy the chase. I think Zoisite would only taunt once they actually captured Endymion and even then Jadeite would take the lead.

Kunzite could have gone with him but Endymion's ignoring all the problems that would entail. Kunzite is corrupted, just less so than the others, and the senshi would not be happy that Endymion brought him to the Moon, he would be the Dark Kingdom's spy, even if he didn't want to be. As for choosing the other Shitennou, it's a question of who needs him more. Kunzite thinks they need him more than Endymion and I would have to say that I agree. Endymion is upset but he's alive and well and he still has Serenity, and that's the most important thing for him, as Kunzite correctly points out. It would be nice if he had Kunzite, too, but it's not essential. Whereas the shitennou only have each other and if one leaves, that breaks them. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. As every good leader knows. Even though part of Kunzite does want to be with Endymion. Endymion's offer means a lot to him, even though he rejects it, I hope you could see that. The fact that Endymion doesn't care what he's done, just having him along would be enough. It's partly why he decides to let Endymion leave. And I think he was hoping that when they next met, Endymion would kill him.

Yes, Venus is still important. Deeply important. I don't think he ever stopped loving her (which is tragic in itself). But hopefully I made it clear that he's already given her up, he's already decided it's hopeless. And do we really want Venus seeing him like this? I think not. It's better that she has a clean break rather than suffer watching him be slowly eaten up. That's what Kunzite thinks. (Of course, Venus being Venus, it's entirely possible that being with her could have reversed the process at this point, but we'll never know.) If he was still pure, he wouldn't react so violently, but the corruption means that his self-control isn't quite up to standard and I thought it would be a good way of shocking Endymion and letting him knôw that, evil or not, Kunzite still wasn't taking any bullshit. ;) And no, Endymion didn't tell Venus anything about this meeting. By the time he reached the moon, he was clear-headed enough to know it would just hurt her. That doesn't mean she won't ever find out, though...

I think I'll post this on shitennou_ai.

[dejana.livejournal.com]

Awwww...

Woo. This rocks. :D

And my soul's still intact. ;)

[sea_thoughts]

Well, that's good, I wouldn't want to destroy my beta's soul! No, seriously, glad that you enjoyed it and think so much of it. :)

[contrail.livejournal.com]

This came very close to making me cry. Well done.

- Contrail

[sea_thoughts]

Thanks? ^^; It seems to have that effect on people... maybe because of the missed opportunities.

[filauria.livejournal.com]

this is an interesting take on why the shittenou would have turned on endymion. i like how human -- an fallible -- you've portrayed endymion to be here, particularly with his favoring kunzite and the distance that remains between him and the rest of his guards. are you planning to continue the story? because i think this is a really promising start :)

[sea_thoughts]

Hello, Filauria!

Thanks for your comments. Although I do think Endymion favoured Kunzite a bit, it's more that Kunzite is the only one left who's even vaguely open to him, so he's desperate to captialise on that. I think this will remain a short story, but I will be writting more about the Silver Millennium during this month. Check out the current entry and the story "On Top of the World".

[seniumboy.livejournal.com]

I really enjoyed this story, though it was hard to follow in some places. For example, I'm not sure what the other three were doing or why they didn't purse Mamoru. I think it would have also been helpful to explain why Kunzite wasn't fully under the Dark Kingdom's control like the others.

Another thing I question was him letting Mamoru strike him without a fight. It seems too easy, and I took to make things more clear (as if saying this is how it will be and you better accept it) Kunzite should have made Mamoru fight him (while going a little easy on him). I don't know, I don't believe Kunzite, from what I've read, would do anything the easy way. Other than that I thought this was really good.

[sea_thoughts]

They didn't pursue him because it was a set up. They weren't chasing him so much as herding him because they knew where he was going and Kunzite was meant to overpower him. As for Kunzite not being under complete control, I always assume that he was the last one to fall, and he is also the strongest of them.

The whole point of Endymion striking him was so that it would look like he escaped. Although Kunzite made it seem like Endymion was doing him a favour, in reality he's the one doing the favour. He's protecting Endymion for the last time. Do you think injuring Kunzite like that was easy for Endymion? It wasn't.

[jpendizzle.livejournal.com]

Did I say that I loved this yet? No, no I didn't. Shame on me. Uh, I love this! I love Kunzite. Love love love. He's like Endymion's big brother in this and I just love their relationship, even it's beginning to crumble apart. But that's what makes it so bittersweet I think, for me at least.

I usually always think of Endymion as this strong prince who comes and saves the day, but he's nothing but a normal person in this, which is really cool. You are my hero for the day. Good job! ^_^

[sea_thoughts]

I love Kunzite. Love love love. He's like Endymion's big brother in this and I just love their relationship, even it's beginning to crumble apart. But that's what makes it so bittersweet...

Yep, yep, yep. It is definitely fraternal. I'm glad you could see that.

I usually always think of Endymion as this strong prince who comes and saves the day, but he's nothing but a normal person in this, which is really cool. You are my hero for the day.

Yes, everyone tends to think of him like that. And technically, he was the strongest of them all because he resisted. But that doesn't mean he stopped being human.

I'm happy you like this so much.

[panda-luvs-pie.livejournal.com]

Ebaba bebeboo ... *mumbles incoherently for a while longer*

Fuck, that was depressing. I'm sorry, but I really don't know how else to say what this makes me feel. I mean, it's amazing in terms of the story, the characters, dialouge and everything else...but it would bring me down from a serious sugar high (or just turn me into a sad puddle of goo).

Nice job though, wish I could write this good. *runs off to cry*

[sea_thoughts]

*pats you gently*

It is very sad, yes. Sorry about that. But if you're going to write something sad, at least do it in style, right? But you know it'll come right eventually... centuries later... heheh. ^^;

[elianthos.livejournal.com]

ooh.. I liked it *sniffles*. I'd try to switch to smart-like mode, but I'm close to fangirling this piece badly. But it's so pretty... *more sniffles*
Basically, I echo all dark_branwen/Ranno-sama's words.
And the fraternal relationship, the twice betrayal issue and Venus... so well-done. And it feels so right. Aaaand... I'm not fond of Sting, but Fields of Gold is a wonderful song. Good choice ;P

[sea_thoughts]

It's always flattering to know that your writing has reduced people to tears. ;) More important is that it feels right to you.

[seizansha.livejournal.com]

the not-fully-corrupted twist snuck up on me, specially with it right after the venus mentioning.

this is so beautiful and realistic!

[sea_thoughts]

Oh, my twist worked! I'm so happy. ^^

I don't know about beautiful but it means a lot to me that you find it realistic. *hugs*

Thanks for commenting.

[seizansha.livejournal.com]

don't doubt yourself, the imagery was very beautiful! i really felt like i was there.

[sea_thoughts]

Thanks very much. :) I always try and put a lot of work into my imagery.

[gypso-child.livejournal.com]

It- It's like this story went and sunk fangs into my heart and soul, and then released them callously, so that they bleed tears of aching gray and blue. I wept a little inside! D:

So, yeah, basically: THAT WASdsgh;agujAWESOME, WOEZ. And now I've maybe been bitten by this fic bunny that is: WHAT IF ENDYMION FOLLOWED THEM INTO THE DARKNESS RATHER THAN BETRAY THEM AGAIN?!

...Gawd, What If fics. You slay me, repeatedly. (damn those phoenix downs! why must ye prolong my torture!!)

[sea_thoughts]

Ah, but at least your soul is still intact. ;) Poor Kihin had hers 'destroyed'.

What if Endymion followed them into the dark? Well, Sailor Moon as a whole would be filled with ANGST.

Phoenix downs? ^^;

[reversedhymnal.livejournal.com]

OOPS. My game!geek is showing, isn't it? XD; Phoenix Downs are used to bring people back from the dead, ♥

...I could say something awful like: Suuure, because it's so much better to have a hole-y soul. But. *cackles* I'm too evil to have a holy anything, ♥

I like angst. A-and. I'm tempted to write it, >.< BUT I HAVE SO MUCH ELSE TO WRIIIIIIITE!

[sea_thoughts]

Ah, thanks for that.

*sigh* I know what it feels like to have a lot of projects weighing you down. But we love to write, so... it's our own fault?

[reversedhymnal.livejournal.com]

Oh, masochism, ♥

Drug = Writing = Anti-Drug?

Or something.

[sea_thoughts]

Wow, thanks! I'll definitely check it out.

[jpendizzle.livejournal.com]

Yes, I officially pimped you out. All I ask in return is you put more SMMFC pieces on dotmoon so I can further flaunt you. =P

[sea_thoughts]

I definitely should post this on dotmoon, shouldn't I? ^^;

[jpendizzle.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes you should. =P

[sea_thoughts]

It will be uploaded on Sunday. ^^